Anonymous said:

Everything happens for a reason, and as cliche as that sounds, you've grown and have become who you are now because of it. Your problems are just proof that you are strong enough to deal with them. Just remember that the past is the past and it's all behind you and even though it's hard to let go sometimes, that's not the direction you're going in.


The only reason I survived is because I was too much of a failure in middle school to actually have a successful suicide attempt. So you are telling me I was essentially forced to murder my child for a reason other than pleasing some selfish asshole? Because if there is if like to fucking hear it. Do you realize how fucking ridiculous you sound?


Anonymous said:

well I know you are and i hope one day you believe it as well


I’m honestly a piece of shit. I killed a child that I wanted so dearly because I cared about pleasing some asshole more than I cared about my mental and emotional stability..I cared more about some asshole who would only kick me out and make me homeless a week after I killed my child. I care way too much about pleasing others but when I’ve had enough and make some bitter, pissy remark I feel like the asshole. I hate myself because I let someone use me like that after I’ve promised myself over and over that I was done putting up with peoples shit after I got out of my physically abusive biological fathers household. And then I promised myself once again after I got out of my step dads mentally and emotionally abusive household that I wouldn’t let anyone do that to me again. I hate that I was robbed of a proper childhood and I hate that I blame myself for all the beatings and borderline torture I was put through. Maybe if I kept my mouth shut and my head down things wouldn’t have been so bad. Maybe if I just gritted my teeth and dealt with it instead of lashing out I would have been better off. And I hate myself because I know I need some kind of help but I refuse to go to anyone and actually ask. I hate myself so fucking much and i know I’m destroying myself from the inside out.


Anonymous said:

don't hate yourself I bet you're as beautiful on the inside as you are on the outside


I’m not. And I know I’m not.


I hate myself so much.

Anonymous said:

you sound hella cool


I AM hella cool B)